STEP TWELVE
We do recover to live clean and happy lives. Welcome to N.A. The steps do not end here. The steps are a new beginning.
Many of us have wondered how this spiritual awakening comes about. Does it happen all at once, or does it occur slowly over a long period of time? While there may be great variations within our experience about this awakening of the spirit. we all agree that it results from working the steps.
Our awakening has been progressive. beginning with a spark of awareness in the First Step. Before we admitted the truth about our addiction. we knew only the darkness of denial. But when we surrendered, acknowledging that we couldn't arrest our addiction or hope for a better life on our own. a ray of light broke through the darkness. beginning our spiritual awakening.
Though each individual's experience of a spiritual awakening varies. some experiences are so common as to be almost universal. Humility is one of these common factors. We first began to experience humility when we opened our minds to the possibility that a Power greater than ourselves existed. For some of us. this experience was so astounding that we received an almost physical jolt from the knowledge that we weren't alone in our struggle for recovery. Step Two allowed us our first glimpse of hope. That hope had an immediate and powerful effect on our despairing spirit. providing us with a reason to go on.
Our desire for something different prompted us to a deeper level of surrender in the Third Step. Not only did we admit that we couldn't control our addiction. we went on to recognize that our will and lives would be better left to the care of our Higher Power. Paradoxically. in this admission we found our greatest strength. As we worked the Third Step. we began to understand that we could tap the limitless resource of our Higher Power for everything needed to heal us spiritually.
This included the courage we knew we would need to work the Fourth Step. Many of us dreaded the process of self-appraisal called for in Step Four. despite the gentle assurances of our fellow NA members that we would find spiritual rewards in the process. Though we were afraid, we went forward. somehow believing in the experience of other recovering addicts. Once our inventory was completed. we no longer needed convincing. In the process. we had experienced spiritual growth for ourselves. Our spirits were strengthened by our emerging integrity. The shaping of values. so essential to our character, was just one of the positive results we found in the Fourth Step.
Unlike the admission we made in the First Step, which was made in desperation. the admission we made in Step Five was voluntary. This complete disclosure of our innermost selves, made without reservation. resulted in a breakthrough in our ability to accept ourselves and trust others. Our sponsor's acceptance and our Higher Power's unconditional love made it possible for us to judge ourselves less harshly. We developed a little more humility with the awareness of the exact nature of our wrongs. We began to understand that humility and self-loathing are incompatible and can't exist at the same time.
With our awareness of the exact nature of our wrongs-our character defects-and the humility inherent in that awareness. our desire to change increased dramatically as we worked Step Six. Though we may have experienced some apprehension about surrendering our character defects, we overcame our fears by drawing on the trust and faith we had developed in a loving God. Trust and faith. two important elements of a spiritual awakening. made it possible for us to become entirely ready to allow a Power greater than ourselves to work in our lives.
Consciously asking the God of our understanding to help us in Step Seven was an important development in the awakening of our spirit. That request was tangible evidence of how much we had changed spiritually. This was the point where many of us began to sense the enormous difference that our Higher Power could make in our lives. Because we had asked for and been granted some freedom from having to act on our shortcomings. we finally began to grasp what the miracle of recovery offers us.
Carried along by the promise of continued freedom in our lives, we proceeded. in Step Eight. to make ourselves aware of what we had done to others in our active addiction. Again. we saw how the spiritual preparation of the previous steps made it possible for us to withstand the pain and remorse of listing the people we had harmed. Our willingness to make amends to them all brought us further away from the grip of self-obsession. Our search for recovery was no longer focused on what we could get out of it for ourselves. We saw beyond the confines of our own lives. and our efforts in recovery began to be more generous. We developed the ability to feel empathy for others.
Once we had engaged in the process of making amends in the Ninth Step. we could see how it contributed to our spiritual growth. Our humility was enhanced by our newfound appreciation of others' feelings. Our self-esteem grew along with our increased capacity to forgive both ourselves and others. We were able to give of ourselves. Most of all, we gained freedom-freedom to live in the present and feel that we belonged in the world.
The discipline we practiced in the Tenth Step ensured that we continued to breathe new life into our awakening spirits. We practiced ongoing adherence to our newfound values. thereby strengthening their importance in our lives. We saw that, by making our spiritual development our primary focus, other aspects of our lives would progress naturally as they were meant to all along.
Focusing our attention on our spiritual development brought us to the Eleventh Step. We had already become increasingly conscious of a powerful presence operating in our lives: a Power that could restore our sanity and remove our shortcomings. Through recognizing the love demonstrated by such actions. we started to better understand the loving nature of our Higher Power. The spiritual void we felt at the beginning of our recovery has been filled with gratitude. unconditional love, and a desire to be of service to God and others. Undeniably. we have experienced a spiritual awakening.
In order to cultivate this awakening. we have found it essential to express our gratitude and practice the principles of recovery in every area of our lives. However, this isn't something we do only to ensure that our own recovery continues. Narcotics Anonymous is not a selfish program. In fact, the spirit of the Twelfth Step is grounded in the principle of selfless service. Upholding this principle in our efforts to carry the message is of the utmost importance. both to our own spiritual state and to those to whom we are trying to carry the message.
Step Twelve has a paradoxical aspect in that the more we help others. the more we help ourselves. For instance. if we find ourselves troubled and our faith wavering, there are very few actions that have such an immediate uplifting effect on us as helping a newcomer. One small act of generosity can work wonders; our self-absorption diminishes and we end up with a better perspective on what previously seemed like overwhelming problems. Every time we tell someone else that Narcotics Anonymous works. we reinforce our belief in the program.
When being of service in Narcotics Anonymous, many of us have chosen to give back to the program in the same way we were helped when new. Some of us whose first contact with NA was through the area phoneline have found it rewarding to serve on the phoneline ourselves. Others have been drawn to hospitals and institutions service work because we first heard the message of NA in a jail or hospital. Whatever form of service we choose to be involved in. we do so with our primary purpose of carrying the message in mind.
Now we must ask ourselves. just what is "the message" we are trying to carry? Is it that we never have to use drugs again? Is it that. through recovery, we cease being likely candidates for jails. institutions, and an early death? Is it the hope that an addict, any addict. can recover from the disease of addiction? Well, it's all of this and more. The message we carry is that. by practicing the principles contained within the Twelve Steps, we have had a spiritual awakening. Whatever that means for each one of us is the message we carry to those seeking recovery.
The ways in which we carry the message are as varied as our members. There are. however, some basic guidelines that we. as a fellowship, have found to be helpful. First and foremost, we share our experience, strength, and hope. This means that we share our experience, not the theories we have heard from other sources. This also means that we share our own experience. not someone else's, It is not our job to tell someone seeking recovery where to work. who to live with, how to raise their children. or anything else outside the realm of our experience with recovery. Someone we are trying to help may have problems in these areas; we can help best not by managing that person's life, but by sharing our own experience in those areas.
Developing a personal style for carrying the message rests on a simple requirement: We must be ourselves. We each have a special. one-of-a-kind personality that is sure to be an attraction to many. Some of us have a sparkling sense of humor which may reach someone in despair. Some of us are especially warm and compassionate, able to reach an addict who has rarely been the recipient of kindness. Some of us have a remarkable talent for telling the truth, in no uncertain terms. to an addict literally dying to hear it, Some of us are a valuable asset on any service committee. while others do better working one-on-one with a suffering addict. Whatever our own personality makeup, we can be assured that when we sincerely try to carry the message. we can reach the addict seeking recovery
Yet there are limits to what we can do to help another addict. We cannot force anyone to stop using. We cannot "give" someone the results of working the steps. nor can we grow for them. We cannot magically remove someone's loneliness or pain. Not only are we powerless over our own addiction, we are powerless over everyone else's. We can only carry the message; we cannot determine who will receive it.
It is absolutely none of our business to decide who is ready to hear the message of recovery and who is not. Many of us have formed such a judgment about an addict's desire for recovery and have been mistaken. Multiple relapses do not necessarily signify a lack of interest in recovery, nor does the "model newcomer" demonstrate, without a doubt. a certainty of "making it.'. It is our purpose and our privilege to share the message of recovery unconditionally with anyone expressing a desire to receive it.
The principle of unconditional love is expressed in our attitude. Anyone who reaches out for help is entitled to our compassion. our attention, and our unconditional acceptance. Any addict. regardless of clean time, should be able to pour out his or her pain in an atmosphere free of judgment. Most of us have found that we are able to feel great empathy for those who suffer from our disease precisely because it is our disease. Our empathy isn't abstract. nor is our understanding. Instead, it is born in shared experience. We greet each other with the recognition reserved for survivors of the same nearly fatal catastrophe. This shared experience. more than anything else, contributes to the atmosphere of unconditional love in our meetings.
Helping others is perhaps the highest aspiration of the human heart and something we have been entrusted with as a result of a Higher Power working in our lives, We would do well to remember to ask the God of our understanding to continue working through us in our efforts to carry the message. Diligently practicing the principles of recovery will ensure that the connection between ourselves and our Higher Power remains open and that our service to others is firmly rooted in spirituality.
Spirituality becomes a way of life for us as we live by the principles of recovery. The example of a life lived according to these principles is potentially the most powerful message we can carry. We don't need to wait until we're "on" the Second Step to practice the principle of open-mindedness. Courage and honesty have a place in our lives even when we aren't writing an inventory. Humility is always a desirable state. whether we are asking the God of our understanding to remove our shortcomings. conducting business with a co-worker. or talking to a friend.
To practice the principles of recovery in all our affairs is what we strive for. Both in and out of meetings, no matter who is involved, no matter how difficult it may seem, we make the principles of recovery the guides by which we live. Only through the practice of these principles in our daily life can we hope to achieve the spiritual growth necessary to maintain our reprieve from the disease of addiction. Though this may seem a lofty goal, we have found it attainable. Our gratitude for the gift of recovery becomes the underlying force in all we do, motivating us and weaving its way through our lives and the lives of those around us.
Even in silence, the voice of our gratitude does not go unheard. It speaks most clearly as we walk the path of recovery. selflessly giving to those we meet along the way. We venture forth on our spiritual journey, our lives enriched, our spirits awakened. and our horizons ever-expanding. The quintessential spirit that lies inside each one of us, the spark of life that was almost extinguished by our disease, has been renewed through working the Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous. It is on the path paved with these steps that our future journey begins.
Copyright © 1993, Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc.